Relieved?

Another anatomy test had just passed.... what a relief! but there's never really time for rest, taking the medical course is just like hercules fighting the nine-headed monster which its name is Hydra if i'm not mistaken; as soon as u chop down one head, another two heads come out, n the heads just keep growing out non-stop. likewise, one test down, two more tests or pbl presentation will come out, n it's never-ending. sometimes i just wish time would stop for a while. it would be really great if i can just relax n do nothing for just this while.
now almost every time before n after test i'll look like crap, cos i dont get enough sleep. i wanna sleep for many hours in a day! sigh. n it dawned on me that my block exam is coming in 3 weeks' time, which is horrible! again sigh.
longing for my holiday in feb.
always sighing these days.
feel like i'm slowly disappearing in crowd(direct translation of 人间蒸发) cos dont hav time or too exhausted to keep in touch with ppl.
trying very hard to keep in contact with all my friends.
miss hanging out with friends.
miss playing poker n mahjong.
miss wasting time n lazing around without feeling guilty.
miss mathematics.
miss everything i used to do.
miss everybody that i hang out with.
dread studying everyday.(though until now i dont really do so, hehe)
don't wanna be zombified.
i want my life back! life at manipal simply isn't a life.
i'll be strong. n i'll survive. life goes on.

Just a clarification

for the last post, i wasnt talking bout a particular someone. it's just the way ppl r in this world. n i just wrote it simply to release my tension. hav been under hell lotsa stress lately. that's all. n to all of u, we as human beings r never perfect. so ya, each n everyone of us is both the bully n the victim, including those who r extremely friendly n harmless. the difference is only whether we r aware that we r bullying or being bullied. well, the truth is, when u r with someone weaker, gentler, n more submissive u'll tend to be the bully n when u r with someone which looks stern n agressive u wouldnt try to buly that person, would u? so now u know my last post referred to everyone in this world, every single one, including myself. haha. hope i made it clear, i wasnt angry at someone or something. that's all for this week. gotta get back to my anatomy study. the test is on this wed n i still hav 100+ pages to study. bye.

forever stressed

Tired

just finished my anatomy PBL presentation today. relieved? no. what a disaster i've made. n also two more r coming. that's not all. physiology test is on sat. n biochemistry test will be soon as well. feel so exhausted. spent the night before saturating(n almost blowing) my brain with the PBL presentation that din even fetch me good marks. feel like sleeping, but piles of never-ending work r awaiting. studied finish today, tomorrow there r always new things to learn. but the thing is, i havent really picked up the study-everyday habit, hence the accumulation of work. sigh. can only blame myself. life has to go on. hope i'll be strong n still be sane at the end of 5 years. but if i do become insane, dear friends, pls dont abandon me, lol. i wont do any harm to u. hehe. enough of crapping. from now onwards there'll be less n less , simply cos i cant afford to waste time writing blog. it would hav been better spent on sleeping, n watching series(as i dont hav to use my brain compared to writing blog), so pls understand. thanks for reading.

Life in India

I feel like i owe u all an update, hehe, so here it goes....
First, here's the answer to zhao ming's question: we do hav esprit here, but only in the big city like Bangalore which is 10 hours from Manipal if we take a bus.
Now, let's proceed to the conditions here:
1. the roads r very bumpy, so we dont really like to travel here
2. there's dust everywhere.... EVERYWHERE!
3. no food here can remind me of malaysian food; it just makes me miss malaysian food even more
4. my accommodation: a room with attached bathroom in a hostel
5. the laundry service here sucks, the clothes u sent may return smelly
6. i always thought that only malaysian ppl r inefficient; it seems that indians r just the same! (except for the photocopy service, they r really fast! it's like double the speed of photocopy workers in malaysia)
7. there r frequent power cuts(at least 2 times a day)

moving on to classes, the subjects for my first block(1 block is 10 weeks) r anatomy, biochemistry & physiology. i hav lectures 6 days a week(sun off), hav dissection class every morning(except tues cos it's in the afternoon, thurs n sat). the cadaver on my table is 2 years old.
sometimes i hav PBL(problem based learning) class n sometimes SDL(self directed learning). once a week i hav a boring PPD class(personal n professional development) which is similar to the moral class we used to take back in malaysia. i just hope we wont need to do assignments n presentations for it.
Thinking back, i kinda miss intec life where u can sleep or play with handphone in the class, sit wherever u want in class, sometimes can ponteng without producing an mc(just need to act like u r sick, lol), sometimes classes r cancelled n end at 10am then can go shopping, can wear just jeans n t shirts for lecture etc etc. I also miss akasia where there's a kitchen in the house n a place to hang clothes if u wash on ur own, a badminton court to exercise, washing machines to wash clothes easily.
I miss my kfc, i miss sunway pyramid, one u, i miss singing k, hanging out with friends, playing cards n mahjong n rotting at home. Well, i'm not saying that i've chosen the wrong path, i know that it wont be a bed of roses since the moment i made my decision, so i guess i can't really complain much. just hope that these 2.5 years will end quickly so that i can leave this place asap.